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Hope Is All We Have

by Steve Layman

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1.
There’s a tiny little town in the center of the state Hidden in the mountains, no matter which road you take But when you get here, you’ll see something’s just not right. There’s something in the soil that grows through the tops of trees And there’s a taste in the water that runs through the stream But it’s the people that make this town complete. They say we kids are something strange, nothing short of peculiar. Some call us artistic and others call us mutants But it’s these differences that bring us close. We know that some nights, you just need to scream at the moon. Let the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. We are animals and we know this, we are animals and tonight we embrace it. Let’s sing for our friends. For the ones who made it out And the ones who never left. For the ones who have found a home here. For the ones who will rest their bones here. Let’s sing for the hills. For the moments we will spend our lives trying to remember. For the nights we turned livings rooms into cathedrals And with music, burned them to the ground. From day one I fell in love with the smell of pine Wet asphalt and barbecues on those morning bike rides The smell of Cold Cheese and Rare Vos and soft spring rain. I will pine for this town when I have moved away And I’ll romanticize the dead deer on the interstate And every night I fell in love and fell apart. Consider these words a raised glass To get weird and drink fast. And never let our lives collect dust. Let’s sing for our friends. For the ones who made it out And the ones who never left. For the ones who have found a home here. For the ones who will rest their bones here. Let’s sing for the hills. For the moments we will spend our lives trying to remember. For the nights we turned livings rooms into cathedrals And with music, burned them to the ground.
2.
The George Washington Bridge collapsed in your rear-view mirror Through the radio, I heard your heartstrings come undone. Misty eyed, mournful drive from thruway to thruway I tried to find the time to stop as you passed through. We could have gone to Neptune or the B’ville Diner for coffee at 3am. I would have dropped everything for you, my dear friend. I would have said any set of words to lift your heavy head. Or we could sit in silence, but at least I’d know that you’re not alone. But I stayed inside as your world grew smaller with every passing measured mile And I’m sorry. I know you hate it there, but if I could, I’d take you back to California. To a simpler time when the future was yours and you were the queen. To the nights where your eyes would shine in the moonlight. To the days where your smiles were honest and wide as the sea. If I saw you, I’d say “Hey darling, don’t beat yourself up Over temporary things that are out of your control.” I know you can’t feel it now, but I promise there’s good in where you’re at. You can tell me that I’m wrong, but I swear this all will pass. Someday soon, someone will love you right Even if you rent out your heart a hundred more nights When the candles burn low and the flowers have died The man you've been waiting for will be by your side to make you a wife. I know you hate it there, but if I could, I’d take you back to California. To a simpler time when the future was yours and you were the queen. To the nights where your eyes would shine in the moonlight. To the days where your smiles were honest and wide as the sea. If I don’t see you again, remember what we said I’ll keep a space inside my heart if you can keep me as a friend When this whole thing blows over, you’ll find I was right There will be someone in your bed to keep you safe through the night.
3.
Wildflower 02:14
Another storm is rolling in Thunder shakes the power-lines The sky erupts as lightning strikes And the street shine with the rain Another night is wasted With bourbon and hand rolled cigarettes I just received another text About the awful day you’ve had You say “It gets worse and worse without you here I can’t take much more, my dear It’s been raining since the day you left.” You say “It’s getting harder to fall asleep at night All the days feel longer” and you say you might "Sell everything I own and come stay with you." You say “I feel like a wild flower. Like the ones we found down by the stream, Like the ones that you picked out for me On that lazy afternoon” You say “I’m tired of the dirt. These old rocks and weeds around me I wish the wind would set me free Or I may wilt and die in the soil You say “I want some passerby to see me In all my natural beauty And with dirty fingers deliver me from the Earth. Make me the center-piece of a great bouquet And spend my last days on display In a vase in somebody else’s home.” Don’t do that my love You need more than water to grow Without that dirt you’re cursing Your lovely roots would have nowhere else to go.
4.
Fly Creek 03:30
Give away all your lightning bugs in mason jars And make bouquets of flowers dressed in frost. Say goodbye to those starry nights When fire kissed your cheeks and beer held your hand And welcome in some cold nights alone. Trade in all those old friends and conversations For days spent walking alone, trapped inside your head. You will lose so much sleep and you won’t dream When you waste your days in memories. There’s something about the cool breeze That makes me think I’m being left behind. Like the wind picked up all my great ideas And went along without me. There’s something about the changing leaves That makes me feel like I am decomposing. I am brittle, I am wilting, Soon I’ll be swept up or buried away. Soon I’ll be swept up, or worse, buried away. I am brittle, I am wilting, I am decomposing.
5.
Irish Guilt 04:07
I must confess, yes, I must make amends. You have lived among a liar and now this bastard must repent. I took that money for gifts and spent it on myself So I could continue to live comfortably and sleep with the heat on. Now its time to celebrate and I have nothing good to offer Except a smile and a song and some soft spoken compliments. This house gave me so much and all I do is take I take up useful space with my resent and my mistakes. This year, I will open up and reach into my chest Place my heart into my hands and rip it apart Put the pieces into a locket for you to wear around your neck So that we may not forget that some bonds are too strong to break Or I may break a couple ribs and fashion them into flutes I’ll play a simple melody and teach it to all of you. So you can play on those dark cold nights when you are far from home. Although we aren’t together, we are never quite alone. We’re headed off in our own directions, never to come back. This house may not be perfect, but it’s everything we had.
6.
I have no time for allegory The skin on my knuckles is wearing thin I’ll make this short and sweet and pissed And to the point. Language is a very powerful thing, But like fire It can light up a room Or consume your home. You better watch what you say When you’re in the public space. I won’t be silent if your choice of words Only reinforces mindless hate. Get fucked, you ignorant piece of shit. Don’t call anyone a whore or a faggot Ever again.
7.
There’s a small stream that runs underneath These beaten streets. And everyday last summer I’d soak my feet. The water’s flow would take control And comfort me; To relieve and absolve as Mother whispered Tenderly. Did you know that it’s there? Were you too busy to be aware? Did the sound of running water get drowned out By the burning of gasoline? Did the streetlights distract you From what you ought to know? That a tiny body of water Has kept this town afloat. I miss the treeforts we built so high We could reach the sun. I will miss the stars when I move to a metro And they’re gone. I’ve learned the Earth is not meant for Plastic bags and profiting: It’s meant for love, truth and wonder And skipping stones in a stream. Did you know that it’s there? Were you too busy to be aware? Did the sound of running water get drowned out By the burning of gasoline? Did the streetlights distract you From what you ought to know? That a tiny body of water Has kept this town afloat. Mother said: "I think I’ve spoiled my children For I have given them everything. I ask you take only what you need. Remember to visit me from time to time at least.”
8.
Pigeonholed 03:46
Hey man, great set! But I have to ask What are you doing here? Wouldn’t you feel more at home with people More like yourself? It just doesn’t flow, I don’t think that you belong here. To be honest, it’s a little weird. But here’s two bucks, Thanks for the record. I’m not really offended, just a little bit confused As to when doing it yourself got a strict set of rules… And when did punk culture close itself off To a difference of opinion? I’ll play with whoever I want, wherever I can Because chances are we’re all a little out of step. We can all agree that success isn’t measured in wealth And you don’t need to start a family to feel love. I don’t write these songs for you, I write them for myself. And I’ll be singing them forever, without any of your help. This music is the only thing that I can call my own. It helps me make some sense out of my life. Now is that so wrong? That I choose to sing and you choose to scream? That we chose different ways to say the same things? If you’re still listening, I thank you for your time and your attention. I hope you like it, But if not, that’s fine. I can accept it. Regardless, I hope that you hang onto the message: Don’t tell anyone they’re wrong when it comes down to honest expression.
9.
Sometimes, I’m glad my grandfather is dead. 'Cause if he could see the world his kids have made He’d put a bullet in his head. He’d be ashamed of all the debts that they have earned; How they want what they don’t need And buy what they can’t afford. Where is the fire that once made this country great? Did we sell it off to refinance our luxurious estates? To keep the lawns green, keep the kids safe? To give ourselves a little piece of mind… That you won't wake up from the American Dream. And now it’s been left to us; The aftermath of decades Of our parent’s negligence. A mountain of debt that towers over the city skylines; Where the privledged one percent can look down On the helpless ninety-nine Here, there are more Wal-Marts than hospitals. There are more people in prisons than there are in public schools. And the price of an oil drum is cause for a war. And the dollar replaced our gods back in 1984 Where is the fire that once made this country great? Did we sell it off to refinance our luxurious estates? To keep the lawns green, keep the kids safe? To give ourselves a little piece of mind… That you won’t wake up to find that Your culture has been bought and sold.
10.
Every single day, I see the same awful things. People too detached to even look me in the face. Do they know I can see through the whites of their eyes? I know they aren’t blind to the problems. Neither am I. There’s a pressure that we’ve all come to know. There’s debt in our heads but a revolution in our hearts. There’s a tension between what’s easy and what’s right. When living easy keeps you sleeping but The right thing keeps you up at night. Don’t let the fire die On these hopeless nights, we must still find a trace of light. Keep moving forward, my friends. Every long road does lead to an end. Do I have to scream it in your face to wake you from your sleep? To rise above your apathy, to scream in solidarity. When the culture says “He that owns nothing is nothing.” What do you do when the purchase only makes you feel worse? Possessions can be broken, stolen of misplaced. But passion is so precious, so personal it hurts. It can only be destroyed by the coldest of hands Or the harshest of words from the closest of friends. Don’t let the fire die On these hopeless nights, we must still find a trace of light. Keep moving forward, my friends. Every long road does lead to an end. There are monsters that we all must face. They bring the same dread but come with different names. Disease, addiction, poverty, starvation. Some that are impossible to face on your own. But if people caused the problems, then we can find the answers. As long as we work together, fight forever and believe in The power of community, we can take responsibility For the world that we love and for that we wish to change. Hope is all we have. Don’t give it away, not for any amount.

about

Recorded at the State University of New York: College at Oneonta from January-April 2013.

credits

released September 26, 2013

Engineered & Mixed by Julian Nottage & Nolan Little
Mastered by Andrew Sudol (Hobin Studios) & Jon Pratt
Album Photography by Craig Jay, Devan Chirurgi & Casey Robertson
Album Layout by Brandon Gallagher (Toxic Jungle).

Steve Layman - Vocals & Guitars
Ron Grieco - Drums
Mike Cox - Bass
Tony Bucci - Guest Vocals on"Secret Garden"

All songs written by Steve Layman.

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Steve Layman Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

loner punk written by a lonely person.

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