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My Last Cigarette

from Keepsakes by Steve Layman

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lyrics

I’ve got a filter in my fingers and a phone in the other,
Smoke rising to a thunderhead.
Whiskey breath mixing with the damp spring air and
Hesitation to clear my head.
Stammer over everything I’ve said and said to death,
Leave confessions over voicemail in my head and
Smoke my last cigarette.

Sober sun suggests my heart and head are in check,
I ought to say what I mean to say.
Sing a song, write a letter, take a drive down to Kingston or
Ignore you till you fade away.
Maybe a phone call is all it takes, I’m sure it’s what you deserve.
While I wait for permission to speak, every lover gets a turn.

If you want to be scared, please be scared by yourself.
Fear is not a game for three.
Depression & uncertainty have made me your second string,
Just an after thought, a conjuring.
Call the man you commit to when you feel cold inside your skull.
Set fire to the pages of your heart that I wrote to keep you warm.

I’ll make certain that you know for sure these are the last words you get While I am on the mend.

credits

from Keepsakes, released December 20, 2014

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Steve Layman Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

loner punk written by a lonely person.

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