When I feel awful,
I tend to fill my head
With cold truths that “I am nothing”,
That the gloom might pass in death.
A better tomorrow
Seems so improbable,
To the point that every day
Feels survived & every night
Is endured.
I can’t save the world,
I can’t save my friends,
Why try and save myself
When I’m consumed like all the rest?
Money, success & purpose,
Anxiety & nothingness.
Am I humanitarian or narcissist?
Why live between the lies
Of right & wrong?
From the outside looking in
Growth without torment
Doubt is not a sin
Fear is human
Now when I feel awful
I’m going to shave my head.
If I can change the way it looks,
I can change what’s inside of it.
It’s not about perfection,
Or equilibrium;
If you get a tomorrow,
You better live it better
Than the other ones.
What if I fall back down and my hair’s too short to shave?
Will I go without a scalp, let the flesh decay inside a trophy case?
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